'ANGST'

Love or hate,

hate or love?

suspended in mid air,

Freezed.

Locked in time.

My heart grew thorns and thistles-

bruised and throbbing mad.

Here I am

waiting in the dark for what seemed

like eternity...

You- out there and me inside

I am locked in,

a willing prisoner.

Waiting, waiting.

Fume coming out of you,

red fiery anger

huge and lashing.

Sharp-

Cutting poison.

Big, grey clouds started to hover,

thunder and lightning-

Help! I cannot breathe !

I went inside my house

locked myself in once again,

shall I throw away this key?

I like it here.

White fluffy clouds and

bright sunshine!

There you were- laughing and happy,

what a lovely sight!

to see once more

the twinkle in your eyes!

Shall I throw away the key

and stay here forever?

where butterflies fly and where

angels feet wander?

Here we are

north and south

mad, hurt, falling apart...

Love you, hate you.

Love me, hate me?

When are you ever coming in?

BACK !

HELLOWWWWWWWW !!!!!!!! LOL ! Yipee!

I'm back in circulation after what seemed to be an eternity for me :) I have pulled out this blog from the public domain for a time because I found it difficult to sustain 4 blogs, a website , a bachelor's degree AND family...humm, BUT I thought- what a waste, so I'll probably post here at least once a week just to keep it up and running. I am a true blooded blogger- whatever that means (chuckle...). Anyway, halfway through my course & I'm so looking forward to finishing...although I would terribly miss tech. It's grown on me, the habit of getting up early and sitting in class and absorbing all the lectures, nice.

Okay, I better rush off I've one more essay to pin down and that is it! hurrah!

"Words"

'Sticks & stones may hurt my bones but words can never hurt me'

Yup, I admit that I am quite skeptic about that age old saying, simply because I don't believe it. Perhaps, that quotation came out from a defensive point of view. Words, aren't they funny? people use them in all sorts of ways- to woo, to hurt, to heal, to destroy...
They are powerful tools indeed and I often remind my children- to not use certain words lightly or even in jest because they are like seeds. They take root and bear fruit and it's either good or bad. I think it's important to stir an awareness for something as ordinary as the use of words. I take it seriously, to me it isn't trivial- stereotyping, labelling people is not at all innocent.

Because unfortunately, not all people are sensitive to this truth and they are either ignorant of what they do or they know but just don't care. Words to them are just literally 'words'- you just have to er, well, swallow what they say even if it leaves a bitter aftertaste (chuckle...).
Reminds me of someone I know- she just lashes out at people and it really came to a point where her behaviour was quite damaging, words are like poison ! then again I thought- what made her like that? I realized she has this hidden anger inside. Still, it is not an excuse, she needs to sort it out I think.


All I'm saying is - some people are too dense to realize the effects of their words on others whilst some innocently succumb to freudian slips. There are people who are naturally tactless and they've picked up the habit of 'speaking before thinking'. I should know cause I lived with the whole Freudian gang for a good 11 years of my life (pfft !). I admit my tongue gets slippery every now and again, we all do I suppose, BUT I am doing better, much, much better.

I guess that is how political correctness evolved anyway (and like most other things has now gone overboard too), it's a sort of social control to minimise conflict...but that's another story. That is why I am totally against labelling, we have this habit of putting people in a box and making assumptions straightaway, it's sad I reckon. My ears perk up (including my blood pressure, he,he,he) whenever I hear people make asssumptions about so and so, convincing themselves and others that their opinion is truth.
Thing is, truth consists of the whole picture, and there are things we don't know about. We don't know it all, we possibly can't. I'd like to think the world would be a better place if we are gracious to one another and we can achieve this by setting a good example to those around us. Living out the virtues and values of life?

You'd probably agree with me when I say we need to practice what we preach. It's so worth a try :)

Just being Nursy!

Well, the past few weeks were interesting ones and I hope this week will again be. I got an rsvp invite to a COPD respiratory presentation and dinner function on wednesday at the elite Mills Reef Resto but I'm not sure I will be going...I may be the only student nurse there, that's why. It's an Ingelheim-Boerhinger (a pharma company) funded event for educators and health professionals and an rsvp too, I got handed a one of three exclusive invites by chance because as I was having tea in the staff lounge, the pharma rep. was there and we got engaged in a lively conversation about pharmacology. I guess she took a shine on me and voila- got the invite! (chuckle...) anyways, I was sorta' flattered and torn because firstly- it is an opportunity to make connections and to be able to hear experts talk about something relevant to what I actually am studying is ultra cool :) and not everyone get to go...but I guess not knowing anybody there is kind of scary too and well, yeah- a tad bit intimidating.

Hmm, what to do? hmm....yeah, well I'll make up my mind soon. I probably need to sleep on it tonight.

LAST WEEK:

I assisted in a vasectomy surgery & it was very interesting, not the anatomy bit (ha,ha,ha) but how men react to having it done, you know? the patient was all nervous about it, he kept chatting away whilst the surgeon, clamped and clicked away at the tubes that needs to be cut (did that came out right?). Hmm.

- Another patient who had psychiatric problems went in to have her arm stitched- because the afternoon before she cut her arm open with a razor, the 2nd time! (ouch!!!!!). So, she was bleeding all night? I asked her & she said yep, that she was starting to get dizzy (obviously, she lost a lot of blood...) and so she decided to come in and have it sorted. Ahuh, and the fresh 6 inch cut was alongside a week older 8 inch razor cut...man, her wound was stinking from the clotted and still bleeding wound. At the end of the stitching and I was left to clean and dress her wound, she handed me her pouch containing 3 razor blades with a smile and walked off (gulp). Nice.

- I have immunized babies, older people and a school staff, yey!

- Went on a 'prime call' sort of a 111...

what else? a lot went on for me last week and it was a great learning curve. Looking forward to another week.

In the meantime, apart from the gross stories I have shared, I've posted one of my fave songs, a classic one-hope you like it:

In Retrospect -- post imported from my other blog :)

Another day, another story:

Well, we travelled over to Rotorua to attend a so called workshop called 'Therapeutic touch' & it ended up being a Reiki session after all...hmp, what a waste of time and energy :( I should've stayed home. Needless to say, we were disappointed, we expected more. The whole seminar was more like a joke!

The speaker was from Colorado and for fairness sake, she was a nurse and she does have all those Ph D's under her belt but hmmm...I suggest she take a course on public speaking because most of us had our eyes shut halfway. I almost went to sleep ! I have to disturb a whole row of people as I got up to go to the loo, I needed to splash some cold water on my face lest I sleep through her talk (more of a chat, really) and snore the remaining time away (chuckle...).

She wrapped up the lecture of twenty minutes with a Q&A- and that was the best part because the questions, replies and comments ranged from the overly simplistic, as in common sense, to the outright absurd. It elicited reactions from me from a raised eyebrow, a smirk to a bellyache (as I was trying to supress an outburst of giggles!). Ho-hum.

There was one comment from the audience where a grunt escaped from my pursed lips & it took all my energy to keep it in & I pretended I was coughing (ha,ha,ha...LESSON: coughing is always a good strategy to cover up unwanted response)- a woman was sharing her Reiki experience and she talked about getting exhausted by it all and so she stopped doing it for fear of- in her own words & I quote "universal repercussions" !

What the !

So, I kept looking at my watch, am getting really fidgety by now because of all the nonsense going on and guess what? I decided to ask her a question myself...

I asked her- 'will the healing occur on a patient/person if they themselves doubt this kind of alternative therapy?' I asked that question to confirm my suspicion that Reiki is placebo more than anything...Her answer? I quote "If someone is against you, just pray for peace...pray for your enemies"

HUH? it's not April Fools day today was it?

Jeepers...